Just when you think it's easy, it's not.

Here's some things that have caught my eye, and I have learned, just over the past few days:
1) "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives."
President Benson, May 1988
How not-funny is it that the time before last that I saw Taylor, is shortly before I didn't hear from him for several months. He dropped out of my life because he isn't the proper thing I need. And this last time that he popped back into it, I remembered that timing is everything, and this isn't the time for Taylor.

2) "The hard, cold truth is that sometimes as mortals, blinded by the veil of forgetfulness, we don't want to put God first because we don't want things to fall into their "proper place" just yet. Miserable as we like to pretend mortal life makes us, the truth is it feels pretty comfortable the way it is. All our worries and distractions, our compulsions, obsessions, and addictions have become like old friends who seem more familiar than a life entrusted to God."
He Did Deliver Me From Bondage
How hard is it to let go of old friends, even if they are holding you back, or helping you to do things that you shouldn't? Very hard, because they are comfortable, and they know you and know about you and still "love" you. How do they love you if they aren't helping you to progress?

3) "Christ says, 'Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down... Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked- the whole outfit. I will give you a new self, instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.'"
Elder Robert L. Backman, quoting C.S. Lewis, Nov. 1991

I am having a hard time. Who is the only One I should turn to when things are rough, and I think that not everything will turn out okay? Who gives me joy even though times are rough? Who lifts my burdens? I have thought of Christ lifting my burdens in this way: I'm a little girl, walking along a road. My pack is heavy; I'm almost doubled over with the weight of the world on my back. Heavenly Father is on one side, and Christ on the other, sandwiching me in love and Spirit. They hold up my bag with just a finger (because, to Them, my load is light), so that I can walk upright. The burdens are not gone, but the load is lighter because They are helping me walk through the most difficult of times. Time and time again, I have been helped in this way. I can be happy even though I have tons of bills, and no work to pay them. I can be happy when I don't have the thing I wish for the most, marriage, because I know that I am not ready for it in some way. I can be happy even when my friends and family disappoint me, and especially when I disappoint myself. I can be happy because I know whose daughter I am, and call upon my Father (and father) at any time and He will be there to help and support me through any trial in my life. I love my Father, but only seem to call on Him in the most difficult of times, but it is during those times that I have felt the strongest influence of the Holy Ghost. He is joyous when I am happy, and burdened when I am sad. He is always there to listen, even when I gripe and complain, because He knows that I will always be back with thanks for all He does for me.