Hold me, I'm so lonely

Hey ya'll! Things are looking a little less bleak nowadays. I've finally finnagled someone into hiring me, so I have an actual honest-to-goodness tax deducting job!! I'm the "merch elf" at Best Buy, and no, I can't get you a discount. Although, I must say that the best part of my job is staring and drooling over the super hotties that make up the Merch team! It's definitely a perk! And, I'll be starting nannying again next month. August is going to be the best month ever! And Pirates of the Carribean was the coolest movie I've seen recently!!
So I told my co-workers (whose mouths need to be washed out with soap, and given a good spanking for all the tom-foolery they engage in instead of actually earning their money like I've shown them up for doing) that I'm Mormon, after a conversation about smoking, drinking, and who to date. Huh.
Boys get on my nerves.