Why does everything have to go wrong at the same time????

Just when you think it's easy, it's not.

Here's some things that have caught my eye, and I have learned, just over the past few days:
1) "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives."
President Benson, May 1988
How not-funny is it that the time before last that I saw Taylor, is shortly before I didn't hear from him for several months. He dropped out of my life because he isn't the proper thing I need. And this last time that he popped back into it, I remembered that timing is everything, and this isn't the time for Taylor.

2) "The hard, cold truth is that sometimes as mortals, blinded by the veil of forgetfulness, we don't want to put God first because we don't want things to fall into their "proper place" just yet. Miserable as we like to pretend mortal life makes us, the truth is it feels pretty comfortable the way it is. All our worries and distractions, our compulsions, obsessions, and addictions have become like old friends who seem more familiar than a life entrusted to God."
He Did Deliver Me From Bondage
How hard is it to let go of old friends, even if they are holding you back, or helping you to do things that you shouldn't? Very hard, because they are comfortable, and they know you and know about you and still "love" you. How do they love you if they aren't helping you to progress?

3) "Christ says, 'Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down... Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked- the whole outfit. I will give you a new self, instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.'"
Elder Robert L. Backman, quoting C.S. Lewis, Nov. 1991

I am having a hard time. Who is the only One I should turn to when things are rough, and I think that not everything will turn out okay? Who gives me joy even though times are rough? Who lifts my burdens? I have thought of Christ lifting my burdens in this way: I'm a little girl, walking along a road. My pack is heavy; I'm almost doubled over with the weight of the world on my back. Heavenly Father is on one side, and Christ on the other, sandwiching me in love and Spirit. They hold up my bag with just a finger (because, to Them, my load is light), so that I can walk upright. The burdens are not gone, but the load is lighter because They are helping me walk through the most difficult of times. Time and time again, I have been helped in this way. I can be happy even though I have tons of bills, and no work to pay them. I can be happy when I don't have the thing I wish for the most, marriage, because I know that I am not ready for it in some way. I can be happy even when my friends and family disappoint me, and especially when I disappoint myself. I can be happy because I know whose daughter I am, and call upon my Father (and father) at any time and He will be there to help and support me through any trial in my life. I love my Father, but only seem to call on Him in the most difficult of times, but it is during those times that I have felt the strongest influence of the Holy Ghost. He is joyous when I am happy, and burdened when I am sad. He is always there to listen, even when I gripe and complain, because He knows that I will always be back with thanks for all He does for me.

What's up with comments???

So, um, your comments are inside your blog. But mine come up in a different window. I've tried to change that, but it won't. I don't get it. Let me know if you know how. I never thought I'd see the day when I ask you for computer advice. Looks like we should move to Missouri.

UPDATE: I win!!! I figured it out! I'm the blog princess!!! :)

So Darla and I are planning on hiking on the weekend of the 23rd, and I don't have any supplies for backpacking, so we decided to go to the store to find trail maps and to see who would rent backpacks and such. They don't. And they were sort of rude, so we went to another store across the street, where super-hottie Mark said that I could borrow his backpack... without even knowing my name!! When I asked whether he would remember me when I came back to get it, he said with a smile, "Of course I will!" So, even if he's not interested...
Side thought: I think I think more of myself that what is reality. In a clearer statement, I think I'm prettier than I actually am, I think I'm skinnier than I actually am, and I haven't realized it till just recently. That's why I'm usually mystified as to why guys don't like me. It just didn't make sense in my head.
...at least I'll get to use a backpack without having to rent one! And get to look at a cute boy (the outdoorsy type with short hair, glasses, straight teeth, dimples, and, best of all, a great sense of humor) while I shop!! It's like the best situation ever!! And he thinks Utah is great, and said that he was jealous that we got to go just a couple weeks ago. Yeah, um, I'm taking him next time I go out!! I'm taking him to the temple!! Ha ha ha ha!!
P.S. Utah is great! The Salt Lake temple is just so photogenic!! I finally got all the pictures of mine printed out. Now I'll just go through Angela's and Mary's, and I should have a butt-load of great pics!!

It's a shpadoinkle day!

I went to work today for the first time in 2 weeks, and they drop the bomb on me. Jess is going to put Makayla in a new program, and with that, comes lots of money... but not to me. It's either the program, or me, and it's not me. I understand, but it stinks that I won't be with the girls so much anymore. I'll still be working Respite, but it's just not the same.
And it's funny how you think your life can be so... content, and then something happens. Even if it's something bad, you can choose to make the best of it, like I chose to today. I went home early to calm down, worked out my frustrations through scrubbing the floors and weeding, and knowing that as long as I rely on my Heavenly Father, I will be provided for, especially since I'm able to stay in Bob's house (well, it's Fred's house now), like I wanted to.

I have a new crush. I can't say his name because it will jinx it, and I can't talk about him, because he may end up reading this. I don't even know him that well, and it's quite possible that he doesn't remember my name, but he made me laugh, and isn't that a good enough reason??

I went through some old journals, and I found some entries of the months just before my best friend died in a car crash. I was astounded at how grounding she was for me. I had a wonderful view on life, very practical and innocent. It's taken me 8 years to get back to that point. What took me so long? What did I lose that made me take such dramatic steps backwards? How different would I be, how much farther ahead, if I had been able to learn my lessons earlier?

I met a great guy out at the Air Force Acadamy in Colorado Springs. His name is General Dandelion. He chuckles when he sees funny things. I chuckle a little on the inside.